Dhoom Day = Doom Day

Dec 20 • Action, Drama, Holy Shit, Movies • 2257 Views • 1 Comment

Dhoom-3-poster

An absolute waste of money, time and brains. But don’t judge it now, keep reading.

Firstly, Mr.Director proves that he’s the greatest film maker. This is out of the Kitty of the same human being who committed the crime of making TASHAN.

YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN FOR THIS ONE.

It appears that Katrina Kaif is in it for skin show and that’s all. She dances, looks pretty and does what she does best in all her movies, model like a bombshell.

And Aamir Khan has made too many movies with special kids and randomly over does everything. Overacting at its best.

Now the most happening thing, it costs Rs.900 for a ticket of this one in IMAX. As some one has rightly said that, this was exactly how much Uday Chopra got for acting in this movie.

Oh wait, actually, he should have gotten the most, he’s the only actor who does some acting in this one.

Let’s do some serious talk, wait I don’t think this movie deserves it.

The VFX sucks. I repeat the VFX sucks. After this Rajnikanth sir will also dig himself up and ask for gods mercy.

This movie has BMW bikes turning into boats,  then doing spider man like stunts and attaching itself to another bike. Meaning that late actor Paul Walker will return as soon as he hears of this disastrous fast and furious rape.

A Mumbaikar next to me, in the hall, described the scenes in his best. In his own words he said, every time he was amazed : Aye zhavali, iski maaki, all of which translate to “holy piece of the raging bulls shit.”

I feel like going to Yash Raj Studios and demanding each and every penny back for Dhoom and this.

So let me give you a overview of the movie. It starts off in Chicago of 1990 and shows us a nice Nissan parked in back ground, well that’s just small trivia. The leads speak flawless English, but with an accent which goes bouncer (not the real life one present at bars) to all the Indian crowd that once hooted for the acclaimed Dhoom’s first part.

Also to add, *Malang is universal and Hindi is understood by the crowd which lives in Chicago. And we think that Chicagoans can totally interpret what it means.

Well done people. Very well done. You’ve made Bollywood proud.

*Sarcasm Intended

Oh and you you ladies doing trick in the circus, this movie objectifies you. According to this epitome of bull crap, ladies get picked in a circus only by stripping and stripping to their bare minimum while wearing neon underwear. WOW!

Katrina, I must say you did leave me gasping by the end of your intro performance.

Oh and all you physics and medicine students out there remember from now on, a gun shot is a fun shot. Doing tough circus acts after it is completely normal.

5 Crores for a song. All you journalists against Mangalayaan (The Indian spacecraft to Mars ) please go watch this one for crying out loud since you’ll know where all of India’s shit money goes.

It’s like a paradox and Mr.Acharya(the director) just created it. I’m out of words, this time because this is utter horse shit. When we made this site we didn’t realize we’ll use the word shit so many times for a movie. This movie proved it wrong.

It goes into making Bollywood’s biggest fails.

When someone said this Aamir’s worst performance, I said naah, that’s not possible. He’s Mr.Perfectionist; Just when I remembered that this man is clever. He sure is. He didn’t market this because he knew it’s an utter waste of time and money.

Don’t waste your time, money(A ticket in a multiplex costs you worth one kg of onions, pulses and rice, which will taste like the better meal of your life and brains over this.

We give this a rating of,

4

More Spoilers and Views

Aamir in both his roles is plain weird and for the first time in his career also very fake. He has a single angry man look and very weird dyslexic one too. Or autistic. Whatever was on your mind Mr.Scriptwriter.

Jackie Shroff and the kid are the only good actors in this one. Well, sadly they are done doing their parts in the very beginning.

The villain doesn’t age. He’s a banker how can he. Continuity and timelines of reality don’t seem to bother us Indian film makers.

Am I being too ruthless on this one, well I didn’t get paid like the fakers of those papers who got 4+ digits worth hard cash to give this 4+ star rating.

Hugh Jackman must take that phone of which he does ads of and hurl it at these film makers for blatantly stealing The Prestige‘s glory and twist.

At least that movie kept it held till the end. No, we don’t learn. We only DHAAP (copy), then say it’s homage. We’re proud Indians. We are born and brought up to ape Hollywood.

Add Dhoom 3 to the string of disasters that Bollywood blessed us with in the year of 2013.

Now, go share and save your souls. #SOS

Cast and Crew :

Directed by

Vijay Krishna Acharya
Produced by Aditya Chopra
Screenplay by Vijay Krishna Acharya
Story by Aditya Chopra
Vijay Krishna Acharya
Starring Aamir Khan
Abhishek Bachchan
Uday Chopra
Katrina Kaif
Music by Original songs:
Pritam
Julius Packiam
Background Score:
Julius Packiam
Cinematography Sudeep Chatterjee
 
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One Response to Dhoom Day = Doom Day

  1. AweSci says:

    I wasn’t going to watch it anyway. But after reading this, not in 100 years :D
    Thank god it didn’t spoil the year 2014 for us.

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